Who decides who’s right and how? Why the Confusion, you may ask? ⬇️⬇️⬇️

A and B represent some viewpoints in the
disabled community.
M represents the mainstream community.

A: We are not disabled, we are differently-abled, we have a diff-ability.
B: We are disabled, full stop! If you feel uncomfortable with that, it’s your problem, not ours. “Disabled” is not a dirty word!
M: Errrrrrrrr…..

A: Shame on you for supporting TV programs like Pride of Britain and Children in Need, they are exploiting us, they are pity porn. They should be canned! It’s all about celebrities looking good for a night; mainstream people shedding a few tears, giving £20 once or twice a year, feeling good about themselves and going back to their happy life the next day while we carry on struggling. We shouldn’t need to put our struggles on display to get funding for what we need, the government should do that!
B: Thank goodness for yearly TV programmes like PoB and CIN! Celebrities use their platforms to help raise awareness about all sorts of conditions and funds for much-needed projects. Those TV programmes are great opportunities for mainstream people not only to get a glimpse into our lives but to get to know exactly where and how their donations will make a difference into our lives. It’s vital they see our struggles for them to feel empathy and donate. Of course we don’t mind them going back to their lives the next day, why wouldn’t they? It’s not because they’re mainstream that they don’t have their own struggles to deal with.
M: Errrrrrr…

A: We don’t want your pity, that’s voyeurism and ableist.
B: Not sure when pity became a dirty word! According to the Cambridge English Dictionary, pity is “a feeling of sadness or sympathy for someone else’s unhappiness or difficult situation”. It’s a normal, healthy human emotion that will trigger a need of wanting to help! Synonyms are empathy, compassion. We want mainstream people to feel empathy, that’s when they stop in their track and really SEE us! Even if it’s for a moment. To feel sorry is to show that you CARE! If you don’t feel sorry then why would you stop and help? So thank you!
M: Errrrrr…..

A: It’s ableist to call my son “Down syndrome boy” instead of “boy with Down syndrome”.
B: Calling my son “boy with Down syndrome” or “Down syndrome boy” will not tell me whether you are ableist or not. What comes before and after that will, though.
M: Errrrr…..

A: We are #MoreAlikeThanDifferent, #WeAreAble, but we also want a law specific to our condition to ensure the councils are accountable for meeting our many various specific needs. Other conditions can follow suit if we manage to set a precedent.
B : #WeShouldBeInThisTogether and ensure The Equality Act does what it is supposed to do for all of the Disabled community.
M: Errrrr….

A: Let’s think of a law to lobby for a specific condition. There’s no real need to involve the main body representing that condition until we’re halfway through, after all, if they were as good as they claim to be they would have done it already! We can rally the whole community behind us, anyway!
B: We’re not particularly fond of a law that would probably be better for people with our condition because it doesn’t sit quite right that my little friend, with a different condition and yet with the same or even greater needs, won’t benefit from the same provisions because they’re not powerful enough or well-connected enough to lobby for themselves. But even if we were to be fond of such a law, it sounds like a perfectly reasonable idea to include at least the main bodies representing that condition, to show unity, for even more credibility and to have all the odds at one’s side.
M: Errrrr….

A: All those companies claiming diversity and inclusion, that’s not inclusion from the heart, that’s tokenism and money-driven!
B: Companies are finally getting it! They are becoming diverse in their work force, their marketing and advertising! We understand it’s a process but the wheels are in motion. It may take a while until full representation is achieved as the disabled world is so diverse in itself! But thank you!
M: 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🙋🏿‍♂️🤷🏼😳🧐

Feel free to add more A/B/M in comments…

I wish I had a solution, but I can see why M is twitching… Heck, my own feet are bloody from walking on those eggshells!


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