If you ever wonder whether we love our children with DS the same or whether our children with DS love us the same, this is for you…
First, just think of how much you love your mainstream child (or how much you would love them if you had one) and how much your child or children love you (or imagine). I mean, I really need you to just reflect about that for a minute.
Right, now I want you to hear me out:
Me: We love our child just as much as you love yours. Not less. If anything, maybe more. Kathleen (my 20-year old daughter with DS. I’ve translated into words what she shows me on a daily basis): We love our parents just as much as your child loves you. Not less. If anything, maybe more.
Me: We won’t love our child more if they are more able. Just like you, we love them, regardless. Kathleen: We won’t love our parents more if they are more able (although….). We love them, regardless.
Me: We won’t love our child more if they are healthier. Just like you, we love them, regardless. Kathleen: We won’t love our parents less if they are poorly (we love to look after them, actually!). We love them, regardless.
Me: All of us say how much we’ve grown as human beings thanks to our child. Just like you, but probably more. Kathleen: Our parents all say they’ve grown so much as human beings thanks to us (as if anyone still doubted that!!). Like you with your own child, but more.
Me: All of us say how much our child has taught us so much more than we’ve taught them. Like you, but more. Kathleen: All our parents say we’ve taught them more than they’ve taught us (well, that’s a given!). Like you with your child, but more.
Me: All of us say it’s been a challenge, one that if given the chance, they wouldn’t want to delete from their life. Just. Like. You. with your mainstream child (or the one you are dreaming of). Kathleen: All our parents say it’s been a challenge, one that if given the chance, they wouldn’t want to delete from their life (As if!). Just like you with your mainstream child.
Me: We love our child regardless of their abilities or their health issues. Kathleen: We love our parents regardless of their abilities, their health issues or their bank balance, (ain’t that a relief for some!).
Together: Love doesn’t count how many words you can say or understand, how many chromosomes you’ve got or how many trips to the doctors you have to take. Thank goodness…
Together: You want to hear the best of all? Our family is full of love just as much as yours is. Actually, probably more.
Together: We love each other. FULL STOP.
Together: LOVE IS LOVE. And…HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!
(You can follow Kathleen on Instagram @kathleenhumberstone or Facebook Kathleen Humberstone or Twitter @KathleenHumber4)